Wednesday, July 8, 2009

I Love My Mother-in-Law

As you might have guessed by the title of this post, here's R's guest post about his experience preparing for the wedding. I warned R that he may not be "preaching to the choir" here. But, I'll let you come to your own conclusions.


Psychgrad and Giz seem to thrive when the kitchen is overflowing with open cookbooks, dirty dishes, and ridiculous amounts of food. I, on the hand, find it draining. In fact, I am still recovering from the wedding preparations. This posting will expose the dark side of the Equal Opportunity Kitchen and shine a light on the signs of an addiction to cooking.

Most of my family members and friends were scheduled to arrive in town a few days before the wedding. Luckily, I had booked off a couple days in advance of their arrivals in order to run a few errands and do a bit of cleaning so that I could spend time with them once they arrived. Much to my dismay, the place was a disaster. There were cookies everywhere. There was flour on the floor. There were stacks of dirty dishes filling the sink. At times, I couldn’t even see the kitchen counter surface because there was so much stuff on top of it. The mess overflowed into the kitchen and even into the office as we needed more storage space. I tried to clean the place, but it was a losing battle. It just kept getting worse and worse. How on earth could I explain to my family and friends that they couldn’t come over, because the place was too dirty? Below are a couple of photos that show what the place looked like.

One day I came home and Psychgrad and Giz seemed really overwhelmed. A bunch of people were coming over for supper the next day and we had a lot of food left to prepare. I jumped into the role of Project Manager and tried to motivate Giz by telling her to work faster, but to no avail. An important part of Project Management is understanding the “Scope Triangle” and that time, cost and quality are the trade-offs inherent in every project.

I couldn’t get Giz to work faster and we couldn’t postpone the event, so I couldn’t change the time aspect. Giz wasn’t open to ordering a pizza or anything else and I couldn’t pay anyone enough to squeeze into the disaster of a kitchen to help out, so I couldn’t change the cost aspect. The quality aspect was going to suffer. It was clear that we needed to change the scope. We needed to eliminate a few options from the menu. However, when I suggested to Giz that we don’t make everything as planned, she replied, “what are you getting at?” She couldn’t fathom the idea of hosting an event and not having an insane amount of food. This was a moment of clarity for me. I realized that Giz has an addiction to cooking and she needs help. Here’s the proof:
• Instead of reading regular books, she reads cookbooks.
• Instead of watching real television shows, she watches cooking shows.
• Instead of checking normal web sites, she checks out food blogs.
• She asked me to go to the grocery store at least twice each day.
• She is so out of touch with the real world, she hasn’t even heard of Usain Bolt. He was only named Sportsman of the Year!!!

We need to have an intervention to save her. Who is willing to help? Please post messages of encouragement. Together, we can help her beat this addiction to cooking! StumbleUpon


Julia said...

R - nice to see you here! And I don't understand how the symptoms you describe about giz point to addiction. I don't know who Usain Bolt is either.

Valerie Harrison (bellini) said...

I am happy that Giz is a full blown certifiable "foodie" (and Psychgrad and R are "foodies" in training:D)..she is one of us:D:D:D:D Passion for whatever "turns your crank" is what gets us going each and every day and I think Giz's life is well-balanced. I know she also has a passion for helping others. Wedding preparation always causes upheaval...but you are now happily married, and brought such joy to everyone, so in the end it was all worth it:D You will be happy to have your space back I know:D

Adam said...

Haha nice post dude. I wish I could help you out with an intervention, but you're preaching to the wrong group, we all read/watch/eat food :)

I'm glad everything turned out for the best, and you're def lucky to have a Mom in Law that makes 200 tuexdo cookies!

kat said...

You've entered a foodie family just embrace it & enjoy the eating

OhioMom said...

Usain who?

Lets see ..

I collect and read cookbooks, I have so many the overflow rest on chairs, counter tops and have even migrated into the bedroom.

I check all my cyber buddies food blogs everyday.

I go to the grocer every morning for my fresh produce.

Nope sorry, I see no problem/addiction here, just normal everyday activity.

BTW .. Congrats on getting two fab cooks/bakers for the price of one :)

noble pig said...

There is no problem here...this is how we all function in a world of many non-foodies.

Dewi said...

LOL, GiZ Sounds exactly like me.... don't blame her, I never heard Usain Bolt either .. ha...ha.ha.
the only different is, I can't stand it if my house, especially my kitchen messy. It'll drive me crazy and I can go insane. My son and my husband think that I am too much. What can I say, everything in my house has to be place where is suppose to, otherwise they'll never seen them again (because I'll put them away, and worst I'll throw them away). So, you see, you are lucky not having mother in law like me!

alexandra said...

This is hysterical. I can relate to Giz all too well. Is it bad that I didn't know who Usain Bolt was either? Thanks for keeping us in touch with the real world, R!

Lori Lynn said...

Proof? Oy. Giz must be my twin.
R, dear, great post, but your MIL is not insane, she's NORMAL.
She has a PASSION. It is food and cooking. You are lucky that you and your future kids will be the beneficiaries of her culinary skills. And by the way, i think she is lucky too, you seem like a good sport with a great sense of humor. One big happy family, you're all blessed.
P.S. The place wasn't dirty, it was just cluttered.

Rosemary & Garlic said...

R, Perhaps the people who know who Usain Bolt is are the one's with the problem. Come into the fold...

Pam said...

I don't know who Usain Bolt is either. Giz sounds a lot like me ;-)

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